Things My Son Has Discovered Lately

The Disney Channel is on at 5 a.m.!

The dog doesn't mind if you fart on him, but then he might try to bite your balls.

Once the bushes stop flowering, you don't have to worry about bees so much.

If you accidentally delete all the photos on your mom's camera she will be pissed as hell, but then she'll forgive you because you were brave enough to tell her what happened and say you were sorry.

If you leave your scooter out all night, someone can steal it.

Putting up LOST SCOOTER signs around the neighborhood can make you feel a little better, even if no one brings it back.

Losing a scooter can give you the motivation to learn to ride a bicycle.

Riding a bicycle is easy, duh.

If you let a hamster run out of food, he will bite.

If you wear surgical gloves to protect yourself when you try to pick up a slightly-less-hungry hamster, he will still bite.

Gum and Coke is what's for breakfast, but Mom will yell at Dad when she finds out.