Multiple choice:
1. What would best cap off a morning at the zoo with your two-year old?
(a) A nap
(b) A drink
(c) Stopping by the market for a minute and watching a stoney street kid/runaway/homeless girl with dyed black hair, carrying an overstuffed grocery bag and a dirty blanket, follow an excited thirtysomething guy wearing Euro bowling shoes, playfully walking backwards and carrying his keys in his teeth, to his Saab, which you can barely see the nose of, being as the guy has parked behind a Dumpster

2. What do you think those two are up to?
(a) Spanish lesson!
(b) Driving lesson!
(c) Blow job!

3. What do you think as you drive away?
(a) I didn't think things like that happened in Santa Barbara!!
(b) That girl needs help
(c) I could really go for a blow job right now

Your score:

You are . . . DEPRESSED!
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