Eden M. Kennedy has acted impulsively in ways she now regrets.

Meefeeee!!

This is a picture of my innermost deepest most inner soul.

[UNBELIEVABLY CUTE, HOME-MADE IMAGE OF MIFFY REMOVED PER MIFFY'S LAWYERS]

My soul's name is Miffy, and it has a little theme song sung by children whose first language isn't English.

Meefee, Meefee, wve lufv yoo Yoo alwayz know juzt whot too doo Two long earsz and botton eyesz And juszt my size Meefee, Meefee oh so troo Wve doo lufv yooo.

I know my soul has a theme song because I bought the video. The dream sequence is amazing. Miffy's parents are well-dressed, and loving and supportive without the slightest hint of the erratic hypersexuality typical of their species.

They give all their love to just one little Dutch cartoon bunny and that's Miffy.

Miffy!

Meefee!

My little most innermost innocent soul. Why are you so popular in Japan? You are not Hello Kitty, Hello Kitty is a terrible sad weak over-marketed imitation of everything you represent. Hello Kitty should be ashamed. Bad, bad Hello Kitty.

Miffy, Miffy, oh so true, even though I'm pretending to buy all this stuff for Jackson and he couldn't give a shit, Meefee, wee lufv yoo.

Dear Kitty,

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