![Missing Cat - Hi, everyone, my name is Adonis and I would like to go back home. I am a tuxedo black and white cat. I am 1 1/2 years old. I have yellow honey eyes. I look upset all the time because of my Hittler [sic] mustache, but I am a good boy.](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/53f145a8e4b097fb5ada58c6/b0a14f47-3bde-4770-8ad7-a82d4b64fbbe/adonis.png)
Adonis is a good boy with yellow honey eyes, and he looks upset all the time for reasons I can’t even jokingly discuss on the internet.
(If you see Adonis, let me know.)
In other neighborhood news, we have a local church that feels like it was once a midcentury single-family house, and I’m going to guess that one of the faithful died and left their home to the church along with one million dollars’ worth of Santa Barbara real estate next door that they’re using for a small parking lot. But the larger mystery to me is: what in Hittler’s mustache is a Christadelphian?
According to Wikipedia, there are about 6,500 Christadelphians in the US, and around 50,000 worldwide. Their websiteappears pretty Christian at first glance, and like the Unitarians, Christadelphians reject the father-son-holy ghost trinitarian thing, and also like many Unitarians, they are bible translation nerds, so if you’re interested in how one sect differentiates themselves, their Doctrines to be Rejected page is not to be missed. Here are some of my favorites:
“We reject the doctrine - that baby sprinkling is a doctrine of Scripture.”
*heart eyes emoji* BABY SPRINKLING
“We reject the doctrine - that we are at liberty to take part in politics, or recover debts by legal coercion.”
Well, okay, I guess we won’t miss your 6,500 votes. The debt thing is interesting to me as a former credit card abuser who once went up against an extremely threatening creditor who I did not realize had the authority to empty my checking account in pursuit of restitution. Pay your bills, kids.
“We reject the doctrine - that man consciously exists in death.”
Okay, the Christianity I grew up with outright says you’re going to have a conscious experience of the afterlife you deserve, of either endless suffering or endless bliss. The Christadelphians, however, are like Hey, nowhere in the bible does it say that man has an eternal soul, that’s an idea we picked up from the Greeks — but we don’t worship the Greeks. Only God is immortal, it says so right there in the text.
The sign on the front of this Christadelphian church says “Call 1-800-826-2615 for a Bible Message,” so I called and got a recording of a delighted elderly man saying things like, “Man goes into the ground and his thoughts perish!” The message changes weekly, FYI, so act quick or you’ll miss it. Honestly, he sounds like a nice fellow and he’ll send you a flyer if you leave your name and address after the beep, which I did not, though if I were looking for a church or spiritual home I’d definitely give the Christadelphians a try — even though, mystical fairy that I am, I very much want and expect to experience a final merging into oneness before I am snuffed out, à la Steve Jobs or Roger Ebert or Carl in Caddyshack.
Fantastic article via Designmom: “This miracle plant was eaten into extinction 2,000 years ago—or was it? Silphion cured diseases and made food tasty, but Emperor Nero allegedly consumed the last stalk. Now, a Turkish researcher thinks he’s found a botanical survivor.” Read for free on nationalgeographic.com.
Kevin Fanning’s “Literally How” podcast is perfect for me, a person who only wants to spend three minutes twice a month listening to podcasts. Kevin’s music syncs exactly with the romantic lofi beating heart of my soul, and his lyrics are exquisite, especially when you read the backstory on how he came up with them. Who else is out there writing slow jams about getting financial advice from someone else’s dad? “I Want to Call Your Dad (Part 2)” [listen on Google Podcasts]
“Over time, your heart grows fur” — this Parker Posey interview by Choire Sicha.
Are you not on Instagram anymore?
I am not on Instagram anymore, because [dramatic pause] I forgot my password. I tried and after, like, three times, I said, “You know what? It’s not meant to be.” I posted a lot about my dog Gracie when she passed. She was my star of Instagram.When did Gracie die?
In 2019. I was really happy I got to properly transition her and be with her in nature. I wasn’t working, and it was such a precious time. I would see her walk behind the bushes in my friend’s garden, looking for a portal to leave.She was ready.
She would go into boot soles in my closet. Then she would put her face in my boobs. After she died, I’d see her in, like, a mound of snow — you know, when snow is dirty and you could see things? She was saying hi again. My friend Amber came over, and she said, “My friend said when a pet dies, there’s a hole that’s left in your heart, but after time” — and she took this pause, and said — “the hole gets smaller.” I said, “Oh, when you took that pause, I thought you were going to say ‘Over time, your heart grows fur.’” I started to feel very soft and furry and realized that nothing ever dies until the last person who loves them dies.
May we all perish with fully-expanded minds and fur-covered hearts.