Day Twenty-one

And now it's time for NaBloShoeMo: Boots Edition. This fine collection of footwear was amassed over a period of decades. I admit, it's pretty self-indulgent -- I had a boyfriend after college who had one pair of shoes, after all. One. But it's not like I went out and bought these all at once, laughing at the Bangladeshi orphans as I stuffed them into the trunk of my car. No, serious shoe collecting takes time, people. (Time and, in my case, self-restraint, two jobs, and an understanding husband.)

Blundstones circa 1994-ish. The best waterproof boots I have, but not the most comfortable for a day on your feet.

Uggs, circa this year's birthday present. Off the charts comfortable, I don't care how weird they look.

Danskos bought half price from Amazon last summer because who doesn't need a pair of suede knee-high boots in the middle of July? The shaft is too wide around my calf but the slight bunching at the ankle gives them an appealing Robin Hood quality.

Borns from a couple of years back. I never know what to do with these. They're too high for standing all day at work and they need more cushioning. I still don't want to give up on them, though.

Some of you may remember these from ShoeMo '07. These Donald Pliners are WAY too high for work, but when I wear them I feel like Chrissie Hynde. I should probably just be buried in them.

These Pikolinos are embarrassingly rock-and-roll, but they work with jeans tucked into them. I don't feel like they're totally "me" but whenever I wear them Jack shouts, "THERE YOU GO, BABY!"

Franco Sarto. These are total Cruella de Villes. Surprisingly versatile for something I bought as a joke for a Halloween costume.

Merrells bought on a trip to Colorado several years back when I discovered the pelvis-breaking potential that are motorcycle boots* on ice. Super grippy, they leave a little snowflake pattern in your footprints.

An impulse purchase from the two-hour paroxysm of shopping I did before the book tour last spring. The brand is Relaxshoe? Okay. Super snug around the ankles = surprisingly sexy.

These Tony Lamas are now in their 30th year in my closet. Actually, these are the ones you should bury me in, sorry.

Keen hikers. I use them about once a year, because as you know I abhor nature. But they haven't failed to protect me from prickles or slippery moss yet.

Is there anything better than sale Fluevogs? NO, THERE IS NOT.

Bought on Eighth Street in New York in 1988. Terrible for walking on ice. My nephew once sneered at them for being "so out of fashion." I guess I could have gone into some speech about the difference between fashion and personal style, but fourteen-year-olds know everything! Do not bother talking to them unless you have your Gucci sunglasses on!

I thought about buying a pair of engineer boots for fifteen years until I finally pulled the trigger on these in 1999. By then it was sort of too late to sashay around campus wearing them with a mini-kilt and torn stockings, but I manage to find other, more matronly ways to wear them. Like with a bikini.

I had no idea I needed a pair of purple suede ankle boots until I saw these at Marshall's last month. They are Borns and super comfy, even though Jack says wearing them makes me look like a Midwestern strip mall prostitute. Jack has a LOT of opinions, I am shielding you from so many of them, you should thank me. I admit these are borderline tasteful but there's something about them that just speaks to me, it's worth building an entire outfit around them. As a matter of fact, I'm going to wear them today. SO THERE, JACK. FIFTY BUCKS FOR A BLOWJOB. NO, WAIT: $150 FOR YOU.