The past few months I've made some small efforts to create more of a social life for myself. For me, "small efforts" means that if you're used to seeing me once a year, maybe now you'll see me once a year and get a phone call. And I'll think about you on your birthday. I'm not sure how I ended up in this solitary little boat; certainly I married a skilled conversationalist who nevertheless prefers to socialize with nobody else around. But it can't be all his fault. Can it? I suppose I could make it his fault if I tried.
Anyway, when I noticed that Heather was going to land within 150 miles of me I said to myself, "Self," I said, "here's an opportunity to drive for an hour and a half, wait in line to say hi, drink one beer, meet two editors and one construction project manager, wait in line again to say goodbye, and then go get stuck in traffic. I'm in!"
It was actually good fun despite (or perhaps because of) the Lifetime people, who kept trying to create a buzz of excitement around Heather for the cameras. "Take pictures of her!" they exhorted us before we went in, "we want to see flashbulbs!" "Turn off your phones," they said, "we're recording sound." "Don't tell her we handed out these eight-by-tens of her dogs," they said, "act like you brought them from home!" They had two bunches of flowers and handed one to a non-blogging woman named
Julie Christine! I'd been talking with to give to Heather as though she'd brought them as some sort of fan offering.
"I had no idea it was going to be like this," I said to Heather when I finally got to her. "Me neither," she said with a cute but arch look that I interpreted as, Dude, I'm rolling with it.
I sent a Twitter from the bar: "Signed a release, went through receiving line, got signed picture of Chuck & Coco. Cameras! Now: beer." A friend @replied, "Aren't you buddies with Dooce? Yet you still have to wait in line with the plebes?" But it wasn't a hang, it was made-for-television meet-up. I actually was the first in line but the TV people put a family in front of me that included a shy little girl who kept saying, "I don't want to meet her!"
On the drive back I managed to find KCRW on the radio, I didn't fall asleep at the wheel, and when I got home Jack had saved me some pizza. Jackson was still up, he had been waiting to let me choose which Pokemon I wanted to revive on his Leaf Green game. I picked Shaymin.