Girl Stuff

Jackson's reactions to various chapters of bedtime reading from The Daring Book for Girls, which I bought him for Christmas because he specifically asked Santa for it:

1. Rules of the Game: Basketball -- (interrupting me halfway through a lengthy explanation of how to dribble, pass, and shoot) "This is okay but isn't there a karate chapter?"

2. Rules of the Game: Netball -- "Netball? That's dumb."

3. Palm Reading -- "No." I show him an illustration of a hand and the names given the different lines on the palm. He looks at his own palm. Him: "Is this really real?" Me: "Uh, I don't know. Probably not." Him: "Dumb."

4. The History of Writing, and Writing in Cursive Italics -- Him: "That's not how we're learning to write at school." Me: "That's cursive italics, which is more like printing than cursive. In school you are learning real cursive." Him: "I have good handwriting." Me: "I hate to say it, but yours may be better than Daddy's." Him: "Really?" Me: "Grandpa Adam used to make Daddy sit and practice his handwriting for hours and it never did any good." Him: "Does that say tag?"

5. Fourteen Games of Tag -- (with rapt attention to the rules of each) --
a. Blob Tag/Chinese Dragon Tag
b. Freeze Tag
c. Tornado Tag
d. TV Tag
e. Shadow Tag
f. Time Warp Tag
g. Line Tag
h. Zombie Tag
i. Electric Tag
j. Battle Tag
k. Inverted Tag
l. Infection Tag
m. Hot Lava Monster Tag
n. Hide and Seek Tag

Princesses Today -- "No, thank you."

How to Whistle with Two Fingers -- (Good instructions for a solid whistle, with practice, but we have to move on when Peewee starts freaking out and barking uncontrollably at the sounds we're making.)

How to Tie a Sari -- "Are you kidding?"

How to Care for Your Softball Glove -- "*sigh*"

Putting Your Hair Up With a Pencil -- Him: "How do you do that?" We follow the illustrations closely. Him: "If you had long hair we could do that." Me: "I'm growing it out." Him: "Good because right now it looks like you're wearing a space helmet."

Cartwheels and Back Walk-Overs -- "Keep going."

Weather -- (long-suffering expression)

Lemon-Powered Clock -- My god, who wouldn't want to know how to make a lemon-powered clock?! Amazing.

The Periodic Table of the Elements -- Only the best thing since the lemon-powered clock. Better than children's Ambien, as well. Nighty-night.