Aparently I'll Pay YOU to Buy My Stuff on eBay

My first sale on eBay: A woman in L.A. buys a pair of uncomfortably chic impulse purchase sandals that sat in my closet all summer for $45.00.

My second sale on eBay: A woman in D.C. buys a pair of Pumas I'd neglected in my closet for years for $25.00. Only! At some point between the time I post their story on my blog and the time I post them for sale on eBay I inadvertently donate them to the Salvation Army. The day after the eBay auction is over I tear apart my closet looking for a pair of shoes that are probably already on the feet of a thrifting hipster in King City. After sweating for 24 hours about whether I am going to explain what a bonehead I am or just lie and say they were lost in the mail, I refund the buyer's money and send her a $20.00 Amazon gift certificate in the hopes that she won't send my fledgling eBay user rating into the toilet.

My third sale on eBay: I underestimate the shipping charges and dumbfoundedly hand over two-thirds of my auction profit to the post office.

I'm sure there's a FAQ on how to do this stuff, but is there a section that covers abject stupidity? Would you like to buy some black flats, Jack's old Lacoste polos or tees, or a nifty western shirt? Pray that I accidentally set them on fire before you win the auction, no doubt I'll send you some free spa treatments and a Starbucks card just so Jack can give me back my belt and shoelaces.

I'd also like to call your attention to jacksonkennedy.net, where a fine collection of Peewee snapshots is now on display.