Here's how it all went down.
Me: Will you design a new template for me? I'll give you money.
Me: Here's what I want.
Her: No problem!
Me: No, wait, that's not really what I want. Maybe I want this!
Me: STOP! I have another idea! Do this other thing instead!
Me: I'll give you more money!
Her: You'd really better like this one.
Me: What are these fonts you're showing me, some kind of joke? I need to see more fonts! Can't you read my mind? Can't your husband read my mind??!
Her: I hate you.
Me: Well, finally! Now can you code all the HTML and give me a scalp massage, too? All this hair growing is really wearing me out.
Me: Okay, just the HTML then.
Her: (seething and everlasting hatred)
Me: Hey, I can't open this font you e-mailed me!
Her Husband: Here. Leave us alone. I beg of you.
Me: Check's in the mail, suckers! *snicker*