Every time Jackson gets into my car he wants to hear Raffi sing "Baby Beluga." Every time he gets into Jack's truck he wants to hear Velvet Muvolver.

Don't get me wrong, Raffi's okay, but Mom can rock, too, you know? So I pillaged iTunes and burned a CD. Yea verily, I pillage, and I BURN.

1. Stranglehold | Ted Nugent
This one got his attention right away. As a screaming man wearing a loincloth will do. When I was fifteen I went to an outdoor Ted Nugent concert (opening bands were Heart and The Cars, which puts us smack in the middle of the Spandex Era) wearing nothing but a purple (Spandex) bikini. You should have seen the horror on my father's face when I got home and showed him my sunburn.

2. Violet | Hole
More screaming. Awesome!

3. You Really Got Me | Van Halen
Screaming egos + Spandex = Nuclear Awesomicity

4. Tattooed Love Boys | The Pretenders
No screaming, just relentless sarcasm and pity. And sweat. And those bangs.

5. Memphis, Egypt | Mekons
I love the Mekons.

6. And then I was debating the merits of Lynyrd Skynyrd, ZZ Top, and the Allman Bros. and Jack's all, "Yes, but what about The James Gang? What about Marshall Tucker? WHAT ABOUT MOLLY HATCHET??"

So have you been to BevMo yet? Are you a card-carrying member of ClubBev?? Holy guacamole. This place is Mecca, except with lots and lots of discounted alcohol. And water. And tea and coffee and snacks! Did I mention the well-scrubbed, articulate thirtysomething male employees? One of whom described how the chain's placement strategy is to "piggyback on Linens 'n' Things"? I've piggybacked one or two things in my day, but straddling a Linens 'n' Things will never be a fantasy of mine.

Good lord, where was I?

7. Rod Stewart, Golden Earring, Tommy Bolin, PJ Harvey, Deep Purple, Jane's Addiction . . .

I've spent $20.00 making a CD tor a three-year-old child.

My mother raised us on whatever was on the car radio.

What the fuck am I doing?