My boss just bought one of these:

It's a Cayenne. It's the Porsche S.U.V.

My first impression was that it looked just like a giant one of these:

(I've made the photo of the smaller car bigger than the photo of the bigger car so that you, too, can experience one of the many disturbing acid flashbacks my mind delivers to me on an hourly basis -- ha, ha, just kidding! I am hopeless with Photoshop.) The Mini Web site is 22% more fun than the Porsche site, mostly because you can customize your own Mini with flame decals.

Owning a bright blue $57,000 car is only for the thick-skinned, I tell you what. Boss's boyfriend comes back from driving the Cayenne to the grocery store and he is miserable. "He thinks it's ostentatious," says Boss archly. "People stare at me," says Boyfriend. God love them both, I adore working for people who understand the importance of having a jar of pre-tied lemon twists in the refridgerator.