This site has turned into some sort of benign Big Brother for me. If I rant, for example, about how much I hate a certain grocery store, and I swear I'm never going to that store again, and then I'm driving by the store and I'm tempted to go in and buy beer because it's on the way, I think, NO! I told all those people I'd never shop there again and I am not going to break my word. Or how I promised to give more love to my poor old farting sack-of-bones cat: I now actually have to pet her every time she tries to sneak by because I said I would, right here, you are my witnesses. Not that you'd give a shit if I broke my word, but I'm paranoid enough (thank you, Catholic early childhood -- GOD SEES EVERYTHING YOU DO) to keep my promises, virtual and otherwise. Laughably dutiful? You don't even know the half of it.

Though I've tried and tried, I have not been able to coerce myself into dreaming of mimi smartypants as Godzilla, trampling Chicago flat. I did, however, dream I saw her at a cocktail party; she looked like a goth Camryn Manheim, and looked at me with a mixture of amused pity and contempt. Last night I dreamed of visiting Sarah B. in jail; I think she was in there on a drunk and disorderly, they were only keeping her until she sobered up. (That's probably why she hasn't updated in a couple of days, don't you think? Virtual hangover.) And I may as well admit right now that I have also dreamed that Laughing Boy kissed me, and that Anil Dash did not. So if anyone else wants me to dream about them, just let me know! It's a new value-added Horrifying Fussy Clown Banner Special, this week only.