Little Boy (about three years old, to Jackson): "Count to three." Jackson: (sucks on his fingers, plays with some wood chips)
L.B. (frustrated): "Count to three!"
Jackson (takes fingers out of mouth, makes pronouncement): "Guh!"
L.B. (to me): "Make him count to three."
Me: "He can't count."
L.B. (to me): "You count to three."
Me (why not?): "Okay!"
L.B. (getting me started): "One . . ."
Me: "One."
L.B. (because obviously this whole family needs a push): "Two . . ."
Me: "Two."
L.B. (needs a ride is more like it): "Three . . ."
Me: "Three."
L.B. (why stop now?): "Four . . ."
Me (please, God, make him stop soon): "Four . . ."
L.B. (triumphantly): "Sexy!"
Me (huh?): "Huh?"
L.B. (thinking I'm deaf as well as slow): "SEXY!"
Me (diplomatically): "I think you skipped one."
L.B.'s Mother (sensing trouble from twenty feet away): "Nathaniel, get over here and quit kissing that baby!"