Two Overheard Conversations

After school First-grade boy standing in a mud puddle #1: Nail polish is for girls.

First-grade boy standing in a mud puddle #2: I put on nail polish once.

Boy #1: You did?

Boy #2: It was cool. It was red! I liked it.

Boy #1: (world turning upside down)

Boy #2: (realizing gender normativity must be restored) I only wore it for a day.

Boy #1: Then what happened?

Boy #2: It came off. Now I think nail polish is dumb.

Boy #1: My feet are soaked.

At the Post Office

Chatty Customer: I need to insure this package, I'm returning a ring!

Chatty Clerk: Oh, that's too bad! You bought it online?

Customer: No, I bought it in the store. I buy all my jewelry [out-of-state].

Clerk: What's wrong with it? Did it break?

Customer: No, it's too big.

Clerk: Oh, so they're going to resize it for you?

Customer: No, because of the design it can't be resized, they're just going to send me a smaller size.

Clerk: (confused) But did you try it on when you bought it?

Customer: Yes.

Clerk: Did it fit?

Customer: Yes.

Clerk: (confused)

Customer: It didn't fit when I got home.

Clerk: (incredulous)

Customer: (flustered)

Clerk: (judgmental staring)

Customer: I need some stamps, too!