The other day I was making a grocery list and Jack said, "Get me an E battery at the store, would you?"

And I said, "What the hell is an E battery?"

And he said, "You know, the square ones."

"You mean a 9-volt?"

He looked at me with pity.

Step into my manly, oversized shoes for a moment, if you will: You've bought AAA's, AA's, A's B's, C's, and D's, but never in your grizzled existence have you dreamed of purchasing a so-called "E" battery.

So I went to the store and I bought him a 9-volt -- which is what he wanted -- and that was the end of it. Almost.

Eventually I got around to doing what any vengeful person would do when threatened by yet another of her husband's groundbreaking neologisms: after forgetting about it for a month I remembered to do a Google Image Search.

No one calls them E batteries. NO ONE!

NO ONE, JACK.