When casting about wildly for Christmas presents, Jack was inspired by his sister's opinion that every girl should be given a bunny on her thirteenth birthday. While searching the Web for a good link for you (because I know you'll want one!), I found more information about vibrating quadrupeds than I'll need in a lifetime, and of course the shopping is too good to be true. I really like the looks of this Hello Kitty vibrator (it's on sale!); Vibo the Clown, though technically a biped, has a certain let's-display-it-on-the-bookshelf appeal (although those little Xs over his eyes can mean nothing but sheer exhaustion); and who wouldn't want a Divine Intervention Jackhammer Jesus Dildo? I aks ya. However, this Dr. Ruth–endorsed Eroscillator looks a little too much like one of those handmade gynecological tools from that David Cronenberg movie. And I'd like to take this opportunity to say, Ahem, Internet Movie Database? If I like that title then you also recommend Basketball Diaries?