Here's how it all went down.

Me: Will you design a new template for me? I'll give you money.

Her: Sure!

Me: Here's what I want.

Her: No problem!

Me: No, wait, that's not really what I want. Maybe I want this!

Her: Okay.

Me: STOP! I have another idea! Do this other thing instead!

Her: (silence)

Me: I'll give you more money!

Her: You'd really better like this one.

Me: What are these fonts you're showing me, some kind of joke? I need to see more fonts! Can't you read my mind? Can't your husband read my mind??!

Her: I hate you.

Me: Well, finally! Now can you code all the HTML and give me a scalp massage, too? All this hair growing is really wearing me out.

Her: (seething)

Me: Okay, just the HTML then.

Her: (seething and everlasting hatred)

Me: Hey, I can't open this font you e-mailed me!

Her Husband: Here. Leave us alone. I beg of you.

Me: Check's in the mail, suckers! *snicker*