Little Boy (about three years old, to Jackson): "Count to three." Jackson: (sucks on his fingers, plays with some wood chips)

L.B. (frustrated): "Count to three!"

Jackson (takes fingers out of mouth, makes pronouncement): "Guh!"

L.B. (to me): "Make him count to three."

Me: "He can't count."

L.B. (to me): "You count to three."

Me (why not?): "Okay!"

L.B. (getting me started): "One . . ."

Me: "One."

L.B. (because obviously this whole family needs a push): "Two . . ."

Me: "Two."

L.B. (needs a ride is more like it): "Three . . ."

Me: "Three."

L.B. (why stop now?): "Four . . ."

Me (please, God, make him stop soon): "Four . . ."

L.B. (triumphantly): "Sexy!"

Me (huh?): "Huh?"

L.B. (thinking I'm deaf as well as slow): "SEXY!"

Me (diplomatically): "I think you skipped one."

L.B.'s Mother (sensing trouble from twenty feet away): "Nathaniel, get over here and quit kissing that baby!"