Jack and Jackson have been off camping with a bunch of dads and kids, providing me with a delirious 72 hours in which to complete three years' worth of neglected personal projects. Which is why I logged onto Webkinz to take care of Jackson's virtual pumpkin patch and play Zingos Pop (normal level) for three straight hours this morning before panicking because the boys will be home in 5 hours and I still haven't organized our receipts to give to the lady who does our taxes. Let's see, what other priorities can I fuck up before 5:00 p.m.?

Oh, that's right, I also spent a wildly productive hour yesterday evening putting new products in the Cafe Press shop that I started for last November's marathon of Web-based festivities. When I was back in Denver last May my oldest brother, Chris, gave me a slip of paper on which he'd written an idea he had for a joke t-shirt, and getting the artwork up and ordering one for him was TOTALLY more important than taxes, Harry Potter, eating dinner, or my dog's bursting butthole. So if you want to see a t-shirt, mug, or motivational poster printed with the deathless advice of Chris "Stick It To The Man!" Marriott, click here.