Movies that I may or may not be looking forward to seeing in the next six months but will take Jackson to anyway because he loves going to the movies:

Links are to Apple's Quicktime trailer site

1. Are We There Yet? Jackson's comment on seeing the preview: That kid barfed in the car! Mine: No one does exasperated indignation like Ice Cube. Plus, he kicks smarmy kids' asses and they love him for it, making him my new role model.

2. Son of the Mask Jackson: (delighted laughter) Me: No comment, other than I am pleased that Jim Carrey is not in this Mask sequel.

3. Robots Jackson: Play it again, mom, I want to see Halle Berry kick Greg Kinnear's butt. Me: How do you know who these people are? Quit listening so well! Also, Hollywood, please quit making Ewan McGregor have an American accent.

4. Pooh's Heffalump Movie Jackson: (mesmerized silence) Me: What, you mean there's a new movie targeted exclusively to children? Take that, Cat in the Hat, you total fucking piece of shit movie that taught Jackson to call me a "dirty hoe" -- not funny, with your double entendres, Mike Myers, although you get two points for Shrek, minus one for stealing Ewan McGregor's real accent.

5. Madagascar Jackson: Penguins! Me: Finally, a children's movie starring Chris Rock.

6. Racing Stripes Jackson: That looks funny. Me: No.

7. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Jackson: Huh. Me: Two words: Gene fuckin' Wilder, man. Plus, what's with Johnny's hair-do? I feel reluctant about this, but I'll go in the hope of being pleasantly surprised.

Of all the holiday-themed movies that I received for Christmas, guess which one I won't be watching because it "accidentally" got thrown out with all the wrapping paper?

1. Kiss Me Kate 2. Katharine Hepburn-Spencer Tracy boxed set 3. The Passion of the Christ