My Exciting New Recipe for Accidental Feta Cheese

Ingredients:
One pumpkin-shaped drink container from the zoo
8 oz. 2% milk

Pour milk into pumpkin container. Give to child. Let child carry pumpkin container into car to drink on the way to school. Hear child cry from back seat that he has dropped his pumpkin container. Say, "Don't worry, I'll get it when we get to school." Wait three to four weeks, then feel around under the front seat for a lost squishy ball and find pumpkin container. Shake. Get drop of viscous fluid on hand; smell hand; say, "Oh my god, how long has this been in here?" Take into apartment and release mysteriously pressurized contents over kitchen sink. Watch with a mixture of disgust and curiosity as white chunks of matter that smell exactly like feta cheese fall out of pumpkin container.

Et voila! Le fromage extraordinaire mais peut-etre toxique!