Eden M. Kennedy

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Because why not ask health food store employees for medical advice?

Me: Excuse me?

Health Food Store Employee: Yes?

Me: This deodorant, it's vegetarian wild yam deodorant? And I was wondering what exactly wild yam would do for me.

HFSE: Well, women often use wild yam to naturally balance their hormones.

Me: Uh-huh?

HFSE: And if you're putting it here (lifts up arm, mimes applying deodorant in armpit) it's going to be delivered into your system very efficiently.

Me: And what's the dosage delivered, say, per wipe?

HFSE: No idea.

Me: And what if I'm not sure if I want to naturally balance my hormones?

HFSE: Then you probably don't want to buy vegetarian wild yam deodorant.

ME: That's too bad, because it smells really good.

I bought lavender vegetarian deodorant instead. Because I'm not afraid of its soothing and nourishing qualities.