Jack calls him "Mr. Owner of Everything"
-- or --
Some common phrases of the two-year-old boy who keeps showing up at the edge of our bed, demanding cookies
1. "You have to _______."
As in, "Mommy, you have to get me more salami."
To which I reply, "And how do you politely ask me to get you things?"
At which he rolls his eyes and sighs, "Puh-weeeze."
2. "You wanna play wif me?"
Uttered to: anyone who looks as though they can stack blocks, poke dirt with a stick, or run around in circles until they fall down.
3. "You go away!"
Almost always said to: Jack.
When: Jack starts acting like Frankenstein, shuffling toward Jackson with his arms stratched out in front of him and making an "rrRRRrrr" sound.
The rrRRRrrr sound means: "I AM GOING TO EAT YOU!"
Hence the stern directive: "You go away!"
4. "I'm not your little nut!"
As in: the character from Ice Age, Scrat, whose comic pursuit of a simple acorn keeps the film teetering on the brink of tragedy.
Uttered in response to: Jack, who, after his Frankenstein has been rebuffed, metamorphoses into Scrat, complete with bulging eyeball, and clings madly to his squirming little son, whom we have called The Nut since he was an embryo.
Because no matter what he says: He IS our little nut.