Eden M. Kennedy

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Don't forget, now's the time to mail your goddamn St. Patrick's Day Leprechaun candies!!

Yesterday I was shopping for a friend's wedding present in this one store that's filled with attractive displays of cockeyed things that nobody needs but you really want anyway, like a box built from old yardsticks and billiard balls with a handle made out of a garden spigot. So in order to keep Jackson from knocking over $800 worth of cowboy boot–shaped pizza cutters, I grabbed a little marble that looked like an eyeball and yelled, "HERE! PLAY WITH THIS EYEBALL!" (It's not a real glass eye, unfortunately, but there's a taxidermist shop up the street that could turn out to be a birthday present goldmine.) Naturally we took the eyeball home, and now I find myself saying things like, "Hey! Move your eyeball before I vacuum it up!" or trying to fit it into the notch between my nose and my eye socket so it looks like it's bulging out of my head.

There's no real point to my story, once again, but here's a recycled link to The Cinnamon Challenge 2001. ("McCormick's Brand Cinnamon: Cinnamon so strong it will make you bleed.") I posted this last year but I was thinking about it recently because it's still funny. Happy Friday! Watch out for cinnamon this weekend!