Why was Barry White on "A Baby Story" yesterday? Is it because he says "baby" so resonantly, with such silky, hairy, fatherly sexuality? (Eeeesh, that reminds me of the most horrible joke in the world. It is so horrible that I won't post it here, but will actually create a separate page for it here. Why won't this joke fade from my memory? It's like you can't go to Rotten.com too often because your brain needs years to let go of the vision of the two guys who crashed their Ferrari. Years.) (Actually, it was Barry White's daughter having the baby. She is married to a white man! Wowee, that is some fancy way to marry a guy who's just like Daddy.) (Just think, if Barry ran for president as a Republican you could have a bumper sticker that said "White is Right.") For some reason every time we watch this show the woman is having a C-section. Right now Jackson thinks that babies are surgically removed from conscious, smiling women draped in blue and wearing hair nets, and that babies are then transported home in a big clear plastic box where they live like the hamsters at Petco. Some of Jackson's other misconceptions: 1. Crying will help you to get what you want. 2. Slapping mommy first thing in the morning is funny.

Two things Jackson has learned this week: 1. Be careful around the dimwitted chunky kid who knocks you down at Gymboree. 2. Kitty will play with you if you rub tuna into your pants.