Overenthusiastic Dad (to Jackson): "Hi!! What's your name??" Me (reluctant to get too familiar): "His name's Jackson."

O.D.: "Jason?!"

Me (even more reluctantly): "Jack-son."

O.D.: "Well, hello, Jassen!! This is Coral!!" (indicates sprightly daughter with ringlets in red gingham sundress) "Say hello to Justin, Coral!!"

Coral: (well-trained, smiles politely and waves before skipping off to the swings like a perfect little princess)

Jackson: (stares)

Me (haven't seen the likes of her since my trip to see the Nutcracker in fourth grade): "Wow."

O.D. (obviously expected more from us): "Uh, well . . . bye-bye, Janson!"

What can we conclude from this episode?

A. I have a highly sensitive twit meter.

B. I have no friends.

C. All of my dialogue was actually performed in sign language.

D. None of the above.

E. None of your goddamn business.