Alright, no one cares, but two big thumbs up for Courtney Love's new album. I guess it's actually a CD, forgive me, I have Mad Cow Disease, plus I still own at least five linear feet of vinyl recordings meant to be played on a turntable with a sharp little diamond stylus, and God Help You if it gets dull and you need a new one, it's like looking for typewriter ribbon. A girl came to my door a few weeks ago selling magazines -- yes! a door-to-door magazine* salesperson! She had a nonselfpitying tale about being a young single mom with an unpottytrainable son six months older than Jackson, my wee Casanova, who stood at my feet doing his come hither, fair damsel, and let us make like ninjas together whilst we woo routine, and she saw the long bookshelf in our hall filled with records and, awestruck, she asked, "Are you a DJ?" She really had me stumped for a few minutes, trying to imagine myself in some Ms. Mixalot situation with a bag over my head to diguise my decrepitude, doing a tricky Tommy Bolin - to - Heart segue.
Anyway. What was I saying. Oh, yeah! So here's an opportunity to once again scan and link to a favorite Matt Groening cartoon! I miss Life in Hell, but if I was riding the Simpsons gravy train I'd probably retire the snarky weekly panel cartoon, too. My point, dull as it may be, is that the phrase "thumbs up" sets two adorable little thought trains in motion. First comes the Roger Ebert train in a rusty heather Shetland crew neck sweater, beaming happily, with a projector's bright light mounted on the front of his engine. Then, from the opposite direction clickety-clack comes the black-and-white Matt Groening cartoon train with Conductor Binky waving from the caboose, which is painted with that one "Thumbs up!" guy from the cartoon** about how to be a film critic. And then here comes Stationmistress Courtney with her cute conductor's hat and half-buttoned conductor's coat and no panties, waving two bright orange Jimmy Choo shoes, directing both trains onto the same track where WHAMMO! they collide at forty miles per hour, right in front of the platform, spectacularly maiming hundreds of Roger Corman fans.
So, thumbs up, Courtney! Wow!
*Which reminds me, we have yet to receive our first issue of Nick Jr. Magazine that we ordered from her. Hmmm! Well, if it was a scam, she put a fuckofalot of work into getting my twenty-eight dollars, she bent my ear for almost half an hour. She wore me down. I wrote her a check just to get her to leave.
**Don't forget to click on the film critics to see the whole cartoon